Plan plot scheme!
“PLAN PLOT SCHEME!” is what I wrote on my To Do list last weekend.
…Not realising until I read it back that it’s just the sort of thing Guy Fawkes (not that one) may have typed into his PDA-equivalent one October weekend in 1605.
What I meant was the relatively innocent task of planning a planting scheme for my vegetable plot this year. But it came out so very wrong.
In case I am suppressing a secret inner anarchist (or – and this is fairly plausible given my work – I’ve been hypnotised to bring down the government from the inside), I’ll share my evil veg-growing masterplan, and how I approached it, and you can decide if it’s an elaborate cover story or not…
Step 1: What to grow?
Sometime in late February (on a sunny day) I started thinking about the stuff I’d like to have a go at growing this year. And then I made a list. The criteria that mattered here were:
- Do I eat it? As in, actually buy it and eat it, regularly? If I know one thing about myself at the age of 32, it’s that I’m not about to start doing inventive things with celeriac, fennel and Swiss chard – so they’d be a waste of valuable space.
- Is it easy? I mostly want to grow things you can just stick in the ground outside. Hardy things. Frost, disease and bolt resistant things that say “heavy cropper” on the packet.
- Have I got the space/time? (Continuum). In truth, I worry far less about this than I should, as my wife will be more than happy to confirm. But while taking on too much yet again, I did do some editing. I crossed out leeks.
- Will it taste better than shop-bought? Don’t believe the hype, it’s not always the case. Carrots: not especially. Spuds: hmm maybe. Broad beans and tomatoes: hell to the yes.
Step 2: Pot versus plot
The recent weekend’s task started with divvying up the long list form step 1 into two more manageable lists of what’s going in the ground (in my small – but plenty big enough when I’m digging it over -plot, pictured right) and what’s going in containers of various kinds. The thought process went a bit like this:
- Crop rotation. Does garden lore say I need to grow different things this time? I won’t repeat the theory here. But I will repeat, for the sheer enjoyment, “umbellifers”.
- What works where? Not everything thrives in a pot. Climbers are easier to support with canes in the ground. Pots need constant watering. And so on.
- What do I need to access? My plot is at the far end of the garden. So I should try to put things I want to harvest often (like salads, potatoes and spring onions) in containers on the patio.
There’s also the question of what pots do I gots? But – as with space and time – I tend to plan first, and worry about these kinds of trifles later.
Step 3: Plan plot scheme!
Finally, for the stuff that’s going in the ground, I needed to figure out exactly what to plant where so I can get the most bang for my muck. I did it by:
- Measuring up. Get the seed packets out, check how much space everything needs, and subtract about 10% because seed packet writers are zealots. And measure up the plot, obviously.
- Drawing up. Analogue style. I could have used one of the many funky web 2.0 drawing apps, but part of the point of gardening is it gets me away from computers. (Er… apart from blogging about it, that is).
So this is the master plan, after several abandoned permutations, and the full list of stuff I am looking forward to harvesting this year:
In the plot:
- Peas, runner beans, broad beans – sown in succession
- Parsnips
- Broccoli, cauliflower, cabbage
- Leeks
In lots of pots:
- Charlotte potatoes – in those bag things
- Lettuce (4 varieties), spring onions, tomatoes (2 varieties), peppers – on the patio
- Beetroot (2 varieties), courgettes (2 varieties), mini carrots – at the end of the garden
And along the fruity fence:
- Blackberries; gooseberries; raspberries; strawberries
- Apple tree; fig tree
- Rhubarb
Whether this all comes off as planned remains to be seen. It’s a tall order given the premium on my spare time. But this year I’m also hoping to have a little helper:
Anyone want to come round for and help me eat this stuff?
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Comments
Do you do mail order?
Two things I’ve learnt from six years of a local box scheme:
1. celeriac, fennel, Swiss chard and other ‘esoterics’ worth a punt every once in a while for variety. Celeriac in particular makes ace mash mixed with spuds.
2. First thing I noticed – carrot varieties varied enormously in flavour so worth mixing it up.
Goodness, that’s all rather impressively well-planned.
Must get out there this weekend and sort out our veg patch. Tomatoes worked really well last year, and we also had some success with sorrell, though the uses for it are a bit limited.
Fennel is great though – just briefly boiled, then chopped up and mixed with some pasta and parmesan. That’s a summer staple chez Gray.
Incidentally, is it too late in the season to prune an apple tree?
Looking forward to having my own little helper too this year!
Remind me not to come chez Gray in the Summer 
Although Ingrid’s porky recipes sound good. I guess what I mean is I should incorporate these things into my repertoire and *then* start growing them, not the other way around.
Hmm… makes me think I really ought to have Butternut Squash on this plan.
Not too late to prune an apple tree but I would get on with it if I were you.
Jezza – will keep trying with the carrots then.
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Hello, I'm Neil Williams. I'm a government web geek, a dad, a husband, a grower of veg, a keeper of hens and a lapsed comedy writer, roughly in that order. 
Fennel is fabulous with roast pork or in a lasagne or roasted on pizza or in sausage pasta. Yummy. Fennel is highly decorative in its own right.
Good luck with the little helper!