Gerry McGovern’s metaphor masterclass
I’m a big fan of Gerry McGovern
I’ve read his New Thinking newsletter avidly for years and, in a couple of weeks’ time, I’m going to his masterclass on managing effective task-based websites. I can’t wait.
If you haven’t heard of him, Gerry’s a usability guru with a particular emphasis on writing and managing website content based on the tasks that users want to perform and – crucially – the words they carry in their heads at the time.
It’s a narrow focus and a simple message (pretty much how good web content should be, right Gerry?) So it’s remarkable how he never fails to find new and inspiring things to say on the topic.
Partly, he does this through interesting similes and juxtaposition. Occasionally, these veer on the bonkers.
Here’s my selection of the best and worst (they’re the same) McGovern metaphors from the past year’s worth of New Thinking. Just crying out to be made into a desk calendar, if you ask me..
- Nov 2008: Migrating website content is like pouring sour old milk into a shiny new jug
- Dec 2008: Browsing a badly structured site is like hunting for a toilet in a shopping mall
- Jan 2009: Hiding detailed information behind vague marketing spiel is like mistaking the web for chocolate. Or something (this one was a bit too obscure)
- Feb 2000: Paging through search results is like altitude sickness up Everest
- Mar 2009: The visual impact of good website design is like being frightened by a lion, being sold margarine and falling in love with Dyson vacuum cleaners
- Apr 2009: Facebook rides roughshod over its users like Napoleon on horseback
- May 2009: Aiming to increase web traffic is like wanting more people to catch swine flu
- Jun 2009: Senior internal stakeholders for your website are like needy children
- Jul 2009: Marketing communicators are like dog trainers
- Aug 2009: Announcing your website redesign is like telling Tony Soprano about your new kittens
- Sep 2009: Resisting new ideas is like going to an Irish funeral or doing strange and dangerous things with ovens
- Oct 2009: Links are New Yorkers
- Nov 2009: Using text on black backgrounds on web pages is like trying to read a grey book and using subtle link colours is like hiding roadsigns behind a curtain
And – like all good desk calendars – how about a favourite quote or three?
From: How many webpages can one person manage?
Some web teams are based on a distributed publishing model. In such a model the web team is often not responsible for any pages, but merely facilitates other parts of the organization to publish. This model has failed miserably in every organization in which I have seen it implemented in.
And from: Writing killer web headlines and links
There is nothing worse on the Web than welcoming people, and telling them about how you’re so delighted to announce the launch of, or about how on your website they will be able to find, or about how it’s now even easier to… Web content is brutal and to-the-point. Lead with the need. Don’t get to the point. Start with the point.
And best of all, from: How to create clear web navigation menus
“Come, little links, gather round,” said the designer to the links. And the little links gathered round, all happy and expectant.
“I’ve got good news and bad news,” the designer said.
“Good news first,” the little links chirped.
“Well, the good news is that we think you’re very special links and because you’re so special we’re going to call you Quick Links,” said the designer.
“Quick Links!” they shouted in unison. Then a silence fell and a little voice was heard to say:
“Master designer, does that mean the other links are Slow Links?”
“Well no,” the designer replied. “It’s just that you’re special.”
“What’s the bad news, master designer?” another link asked.
“The bad news …” and the designer paused. “The bad news is that we’re putting you in the right column.
“The right column!” they said with horrified voices. A long silence.
“Bad master designer,” a disgruntled little voice said.
“Yes, bad master designer,” another said. “Nobody looks in the right column.”
“But you’re Quick Links! You’re special,” the designer said as the links began to close in.
If he comes out with any more gems like these at the class, I’ll be sure to write them down.
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Comments
He does do this in his pressers, which gets people laughing and helps him make his points. I’ve joked with him about a potential second career as a standup. One thing I’ve noticed when I’ve heard him is I’ve never heard the word ‘usability’. Odd but true.
Neil, you may also like Rory Sutherland, evil marketeer and Ogilvy top brass
http://www.ted.com/talks/rory_sutherland_life_lessons_from_an_ad_man.html
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Hello, I'm Neil Williams. I'm a government web geek, a dad, a husband, a grower of veg, a keeper of hens and a lapsed comedy writer, roughly in that order. 
Just brilliant – thankyou for this Neil!